There were little clues: my Victoria's Secret catalog would be on the left side of the end table, not the right where I'd left it. My television would be on ESPN and not E, which is what I'd last watched. And there would be crumbs on the counter, and I never left crumbs on my counter.
He never has been very careful about cleaning up after himself.
Now that I am a mother, I view my rather anal ways as being of great advantage to me some day. If my boys think they will be able to sneak around without me knowing, they've got another thing coming!
In fact, I am already starting to lay the groundwork now.
Last Saturday morning, I busted the boys for eating cookies for breakfast. They couldn't believe I knew!
"Mom ALWAYS knows," I said. "Get that in your heads now. I always know."
The only reason I knew was because there had been 6 cookies before we all went to bed, and in the morning, one was left. Plus, I found crumbs in the dining room. We never eat in the dining room.
Just the other evening, after the babysitter had been here for a while, I busted them for getting into my office supplies. How did I know, you ask? There was a jumbo paper clip on my desk (which I hadn't used), and when I went to put it back, my little basket of paper clips was missing.
"Someone was into my stuff," I said. "Who was it?"
"How did you know, Mom?"
"Because I ALWAYS know," I said. "Get that in your heads now. Mom ALWAYS knows."
I want them to think that every time they are about to be sneaky. I WANT my voice in their heads saying, "Mom ALWAYS knows," so that maybe they will think twice before they do something they are not supposed to.
So far it's not working, but I can hold out hope.
My mom was, and still is, like that, too. She assures us that she knew more than we thought she knew when we were all in high school. She saw right through our excuses for staying out late, knew when we had something hidden in our rooms, and figured out when someone had been over to our house without her permission.
Either we were incredibly bad liars, or she was just that good.
There was one time when she was wrong, though. She and my dad had been out of town for the weekend when I was in college. When they came home, I was in the middle of cleaning my room and washing my bedsheets. She all but accused me of having my boyfriend over, which I hadn't.
One time. One time she was wrong out of a gazillion things the three of us did.
I'm hoping I have those kind of odds when my boys get older. I didn't cause very much trouble in my youth, so I won't see it coming. I will have to rely on the clues they leave. And my voice in their heads saying, "Mom ALWAYS knows."
Maybe it is a mother's sense, or maybe it really is a blessing that I get my anal tendencies from both my parents. "A place for everything and everything in it's place," you know.
I do like having a neat and tidy house, and I am trying to teach my boys the same. I figure this will serve me well some day.
If they are anything like their dad, they will leave clues; and I truly will ALWAYS know what they've been up to.
